poems are fun

this email came from a friend the other day. i know i've read these before and maybe you have too. anyway, i could help but write one for her and send it back. thought i'd share it because i thought i may have had a chance in the competition. anyway, i make myself laugh.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO
A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC
FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST
ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:


1. My darling, my
lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up
screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful,
love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was
pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so
are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar
bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your
face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

here is mine:
you have sexy blue eyes and curls that are red;
the only way i'd sleep with you is if i were dead.

happy hump day.