you have to be kidding me

so, i am riding the #1 bus home yesterday because it was nice out. when it's nice, i take the #1 because it is a direct route and it only takes about 5min to my stop, but then i have to walk 3 blocks home. if the weather is doody, i take the #2 which is definitely NOT a direct route, takes me about 30 min, but drops me directly in front of the neighbor's house.

so we are about 3.5min into my 5min ride and all of a sudden traffic has slowed and everyone is pulling out of our lane over into the left lane. i glance ahead and notice a huge commuter bus even bigger than the city bus i'm sitting on has come to a complete stop. i figure the bus has stalled or is waiting for someone to turn into Taco Bell or something. As the bus driver changes lanes, we hear sirens and see emergency vehicles approaching at a rather rapid pace. We crawl around the ass end of the beastly commuter bus and see that it actually looks like the bus has stopped to eat a little green ford taurus for breakfast. the bus hadn't skidded or anything and we didn't hear screeching, so it's obvious that the idiots in the ford taurus (complete with an order of ground mad cow and salmonella on the side) tried to beat the bus out into traffic. the bus won. the bus must not have been traveling too fast because everyone looked fine and people had run up to the car and there wasn't any blood or screaming. so, i was thinking, 'man that would suck for all the people waiting to get home'.

so, on the #1 there are these two slightly mentally challenged girls who always ride. every single day, i see them. and they function ok and have good personal hygiene as far as i can tell but they never shut the hell up. they are both chatting and talking about nothing for the entire ride. and one eggs the other on no matter where they are sitting. one sits at the front, the other at the back, yap, yap, yap. what is even more annoying is that it's never complete sentances or cohesive thoughs mostly just: oh, that's fantastic, yeah, that's great, that's great. or: oh no, that's too bad, that's terrible, really too bad.

so these two girls get all excited about the accident. they even stand up so they can get a better look out the window (this is risky because neither of them is particularly sure-footed). so one turns around and starts commenting very, very loudly about who was driving the car. i swear to you i am not making this up! 'oh, that car is full of somalians, those somalians, a whole bunch of somalians were driving. those somalians, they pulled right out in front of the bus, they are terrible drivers. those somalians, a whole car of somalians....'

i glanced around the bus quickly because usually, there is a certain percentage of somali riders on the bus. none today. whew. but i still had a hard time containing myself. i suddenly warped into an adam sandler movie where someone might stand up and yell at the girl, 'hey you fucking retard, show some respect for people who are different than you!!!! you can't even drive because you are too fucking retarded!!!'

yes, i know i'm going to hell. but i can't help it. no one was hurt. and i respect people who are different than me, but you must see the irony here, right?

tip of the day: use public transit

p.s. don't forget happy hour tonight at glynner's 5ish!