i have been busy working late this week and leeser has been stuck watching ruby lots and picking me up late and stuff because i have missed all the buses. it's been a crappy week really. so, we had church last night and i stayed at work until time for church. so i suggested we get some chinese for supper (someone's favorite). she thought take-away supper was a good idea but surprisingly suggested victoria's which is a fancy-pants italian restaurant here in town. i was thrilled because there are lots of veggie choices there.
so we both looked at the menu online, she picked me up from work and we drove off to church. in the parking lot, she looked at the menu some more and decided on what to order. we thought we'd order before church so it would be ready by the time we were done. i had to make the call because that's our deal....if it's basically an 'american cuisine' restuarant, i have to call because american's can't understand her accent. if it's an 'ethnic restuarant' she calls because people from other countries understand her english just fine....go figure. americans are so dumb.
i dialed up victoria's and heard, 'hello, thank you for calling victoria's this is jesse, how may i help you?'. i said, 'yeah, i would like to place an order for carry-out. i would like to have it ready for 7pm, please.' jesse thinks a moment and says, 'well could you call back at 6:45?' i say, 'well i am going to be unavailable until then we are heading in to.....(then i'm thinking this kid doesn't care i'm about to go in to church and i want my food after the service)' so, i stop and say instead, 'no actually, i need to order it now, that's why i called'. i don't say it in a rude manner, just matter-of-fact-ly. he says, 'oh, ok' as if i really wasn't crazy for calling an order in a hour before i want it as he had previously suspected.
anyway, i asked for our main dishes. he said both come with a soup or salad. i turned to lisa and said, 'soup or salad'. she immediately said 'salad!'. so i said to little 12-year-old jesse on the phone, 'two salads, please'. now, dear readers i implore you, what is the next question he is gonna ask me????? what kind of dressing would you like with that, of course!!! so, i turn again and say, 'dressing???'.
lisa looks as me with a face full of shock and horror. as if i am aiming a loaded weapon at her face and one at ruby and i have just said, 'her or you?'. jesse is waiting, i am waiting. her face goes from utter panic to confusion.... 'uh, italian?' she stammers. i say to jesse, 'one italian and one blue cheese on the side please'. then freak-show (aka my wife) half shouts, 'oh-i-want-blue-cheese-too-blue-cheese'. it comes out as if it's all one word. i shake my head and mouth W-T-F to her as i apologetically say to jesse, 'can you please make that two blue cheeses'.
oh my. when does the pregnancy brain go away? does it ever? i have never seen my wife order or eat italian dressing.
i wonder if you, as a reader, can grasp how silly and ridiculous the situation really was???? i'm sure lisa will want to explain her side of the story, but we'll leave that for tomorrow.
have a good day, all!
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8 comments:
Hey I understand you sis. I just want to order Italian food - not a frigging salad and I don't care what frigging dressing I get. I hate having so many choices - it's the communist in me. If the world just had one brand of salad dressing, or one brand of toilet paper life would be so much easier.
That was laugh out load funny.
It is even funnier now that I wrote load and not loud.
I am pretty sure Lisa had Italian
Dressing at lunch today, maybe she
meant to order blue cheese.
a little hard on the wifey wouldn't you say...you remind me of Paul sometimes, he wouldn't be able to tolerate my indecisiveness either but yet he changes his mind all the time.
ok then - i understand the ridiculousness of what happened but here is what was going through my mind. I was not expecting to be asked about soup or salad to start with. when i said soup i was thinking about The Olive Garden and how they have their own homemade dressing on the salad. so, then when i was asked about a dressing i was really thrown for a loop. we were eating Italian food and therefore that was the only dressing that came to mind. after all was said and done i thought the salad sucked anyway. pah!
shoot - i said salad - not soup.
I went to that restaurant last year in Rochester (actually when Lisa said she wanted to meet me but didn't, something to do with Rochesterfest!!!!!!!!)hmmmm. Anyway the salad was a strange thing, what is with that? I just wanted tasty pasta and got it, but so many questions from your waiters - I sat there looking dumb and jetlagged.
I can actually imagine Lisa's reaction - so cute. he he he
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